Plugged Into the Matrix

Palin biographer Kaylene Johnson writes an "If You Knew Sarah Like I Know Sarah" op-ed on CNN.com. Because it's so damn hilarious, I had to paste the whole thing. My comments are parenthetical.

WASILLA, Alaska (CNN) -- In a year when Alaska celebrates 50 years of statehood, it can be argued that our state finally joined the union August 29, 2008, when Gov. Sarah Palin was nominated by Sen. John McCain as his vice presidential running mate. (So up until 2008, all Alaskans were secret secessionists?)

Suddenly, everything Alaskan and everything Sarah came under micro-scrutiny as media from all over the world descended on small-town Alaska to find out more about the woman who held the possibility of becoming the most powerful leader in the world. (as if that were so unusual!)

In the harsh light of that scrutiny, we learned a few things about our governor. And we learned a few things about ourselves. What surprised many Alaskans was the warrior persona that grew up around Palin as she took on the role of partisan pit bull. (This illustrates how the growing Christianist community in Alaska, indeed most Alaskans in general, is willing to overlook glaring character flaws. Case in point: Ted Stevens' reelection)

Although she campaigned against rabid partisanship in her bid for the governor's office, we learned that when the job calls for it, she is capable and willing to become a hard-liner for her party. Her legacy as governor, however, has been based more on cooperation than confrontation. (or, perhaps, flat out theft, as in the funds earmarked for the Bridge To Nowhere, a project she turned down but kept the money)

Many of her staunchest supporters here were Democrats who appreciated her willingness to reach across the aisle to get the job done. With team spirit and a singular vision, Palin achieved more progress in two years toward the development of a natural gas pipeline than the previous two administrations put together. (a pipeline that, to my knowledge, has yet to be built)

Once Palin became McCain's VP pick, the investigation became politically charged, and many of the alliances Palin had created across party lines became strained. (this was mainly due to the McCain campaign's meddling in state affairs in an effort to keep their precious VP pick from getting stained)

From the McCain/Palin perspective, the investigation had become a political witch hunt (you mean, like Republican calls to investigate the Obama/Ayers connection? Or the Khalidi connection?). Conversely, Democrats accused the McCain/Palin camp of stonewalling. And so it went, with Palin burning some hard-won political capital right up to the day before the election, when the state's personnel board exonerated her. (A personnel board comprised of the governor's hand-picked cronies does not exonerate the governor: it provides her with political cover. The legislature's investigation determined that she had illegally abused her power over and over again. Stay tuned for competing narratives on this topic in 2012)

Her popularity before being launched on the national stage was more than 80 percent; today, her popularity in the state ranges between 64 and 68 percent, figures enviable to most politicians in America. Even so, she will have some political fences to mend on the home front. (If Ted Stevens win re-election and he then steps down, it leaves his Senate seat open to whomever Palin wants to put there: herself? The First Dude? Her future son-in-law? If she wants to mend fences, she'll stop the political shenanigans and cronyism that soured so much of the country on the Bush administration [remember Brownie?])

People close to Palin told me early in the campaign that the McCain camp's "handling" of Sarah Palin was unfortunate not only to Palin but to the campaign. (That's what "people close to Palin" would say, of course! If anything, there was no good way to "handle" Palin as she was a farcical choice in the first place. McCain did himself in on the day he picked her. Then again, I have my theories about that.)

Putting a muzzle and straitjacket on her and then scripting her so tightly that she came across as foolish was a "colossal blunder," according to one of Palin's closest aides. Her national poll numbers grew increasingly negative. (No, McCain had to muzzle and straitjacket her because she was an ignoramus. The only VP candidate more completely unprepared than she was Ross Perot's selection, retired Vice Admiral James "Gridlock!" Stockdale.)

Even so, Palin drew enormous, enthusiastic crowds throughout the country and energized McCain's flagging candidacy, not a bad debut for a newcomer to the national political stage. (Debut, OK. Performance, abyssmal. Denouement, deservedly pathetic.)

Home-grown supporters were willing to take to the streets in Alaska and across the nation to seek a victory. One group of supporters organized, calling themselves Alaskans for Reform.

One of the organizers, Mary Havens, told me that after their offers to volunteer were rebuffed by the McCain camp, they set up their own shop, conducted rallies and raised $24,000 for the campaign. (By contrast, the readers of Bob Cesca's Goddamn Awesome Blog raised nearly $10,000 without rallies, just by posting a few witty blog entries.)

Many of these hard-core enthusiasts were the same people who succeeded in their grass-roots, statewide effort to put Palin in office in the first place. Through groups like Alaskans for Reform, we learned that Alaskans don't need anyone's permission to stand up for what they believe. (Congratulations on passing American Civics 101!)

The people who know Sarah Palin best say that she joined the McCain campaign with a sincere desire to do what was best for America. She hoped that she would succeed in helping John McCain ascend to the presidency. (I never would suggest that Sarah Palin was savvy enough to have any other motive.)

Instead, she stood by McCain as he made a concession speech congratulating Sen. Barack Obama on winning the White House. (Reports I've read in recent days suggest that Palin had asked to address the Arizona crowd, and had been sharply rejected by campaign management. That would not be the time to be announcing her candidacy in 2012!) The next day, in Palin's more characteristic style, she called on Americans to unite in supporting the new administration as the nation faces the challenges that lie ahead.

As for 2012, if Palin chooses to run for the presidency, she will now know just how intensely personal and ugly a campaign can get. She will have the traction of being a household name. She will have more experience. And perhaps most important, she'll be running for office on her own terms.

Governor Sarah Palin has a big job to do: govern Alaska well. She might also be Alaska's next senator. Whatever she does, the country would do well to ignore her for at least a couple of years. She'll come back -- as "fatal cancer" often does.