"Southern Values"

OK, I'm probably going to offend many of my southern friends, but what the hell.

Say what you will about Louisiana Senator David Vitter (R), he's got some balls. He provided a tense rebuke Wednesday to comments made by former Ohio Governor George Voinovich, who declared southern conservatives to be the biggest problem facing the Republican Party.

They get on TV and go "errrr, errrrr." People hear them and say, "These people, they're southerners. The party's being taken over by southerners. What the hell they got to do with Ohio?"

Vitter told the Washington Times that Voinovich was "a moderate, really wishy-washy."

But wait, it gets better:

I'm on the side of conservatives getting back to core conservative values. There are a lot of us from the South who hold those values, which I think the party is supposed to be about. We strayed from them in the past few years, and that's why we performed so badly in the national elections.

Let's parse these words for a moment: "core conservative values." These are the ones that proclaim the United States of America "a Christian nation," that support people carrying loaded weapons in church, that celebrate the murder of a Kansas abortion provider while ushering in his own church, that proclaim we are in a religious crusade in the Middle East to convert or kill Muslims, that relegate gays and lesbians to the side-show tent of Americana, and that deem that the environment is irrelevant because it has nothing to do with our eternities in salvation under the love of their lord, Jesus Christ.

..."[these values are what] I think the party is supposed to be about." Really? Perhaps since 1967, when Nixon's Southern Strategy allowed disgruntled Dixiecrats to hijack the Republican Party because of their intolerance of civil rights for blacks and other minorities, their support for poll taxes, etc. Until then, Republicans were more like Eisenhower -- practical, in favor of limited government, wary of military conflicts, and definitely opposed to torture and warrantless spying on American citizens. I'm not saying it was uniformly gentlemanly back then, and it's not a party of southern wingnuts now, but let's face it: in a crowded room, it's the people screaming at the tops of their lungs forcing their points of view on everyone else who will generally be responsible for that room's being characterized as loud and annoying, even if most of the people are behaving themselves in a more civilized fashion.

"We strayed..., and that's why we performed so badly..." Oh, OK. Listen, I have a deal for Southern Republicans: you refrain from telling me that my liberal family is going to hell for not believing your way, and I'll hold my tongue about your collective delusional beliefs about what values will win elections. Deal? Nah, didn't think so.

You gotta hand it to Vitter though; even as he's looking at a potential re-election battle against a porn actress, he maintains his impossible air of superiority. I'll bet Norm Coleman was feeling similarly care-free this time last year.