Someone Get This Guy a Woman

Normally I love Cornell West, Harvard professor and frequent guest on Real Time with Bill Maher. He's funny, a great character, and very sharp. But this quote from his recent memoir just gives me the dry heaves. My favorite piece of it:

Does such a woman exist for me? Only God knows and I eagerly await this divine unfolding. Like Heathcliff and Catherine’s relationship in Emily Brontë’s remarkable novel Wuthering Heights or Franz Schubert’s tempestuous piano Sonata No. 21 in B flat (D.960) I will not let life or death stand in the way of this sublime and funky love that I crave!

Maybe if I'd heard him speak these words I'd laugh, but on the page they seem so phony, so full of affect. Like when my older brother, at the ripe old age of 21, would order single-blended scotch served in a brandy snifter. Thirty years ago and it's still freakin' hilarious!