Much has been written lately about Senator McSame's (I saw another name for him today: McCan't) temper. Well, writer Trey Ellis contemplates how Obama might tap that powder keg during the debates the way Tom Cruise's character did to Jack Nicholson's character in A Few Good Men, which by the way is a great Sidney Pollack film.
I decided then to try my hand at some ad copy Obama might consider when putting an honest face on his opponent. Here goes:
FADE IN (Cue: powerful, military music in b/g): Photo montage of young John McCain in his dress uniform, then as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, then footage of a beaming McCain returning home to his wife after captivity.
V/O: Senator John McCain served his country by being shot down over Vietnam, locked up as a prisoner of war for years where he was mercilessly tortured. And yet he was still able to smile when returning home to his future ex-wife.
CUT TO: video/photo montage of McCain being sworn in as a freshman Senator, then standing in front of the Straight Talk bus as a presidential candidate, with a big smile on his wife.
V/O: He served his country in the United States Senate and as a presidential candidate, serving up "straight talk" that sometimes went against his own party. Eventually he was painted by his own party as mentally unstable. And through it all, there was that smile, even though he couldn't lift his arms above his shoulders.
CUT TO: video/photo montage of a smiling McCain shaking hands with Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and John Hagee. Low shot of him standing beneath a giant cross. Cut to: images of 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina superimposed over the rainbow flag of the gay community (CUE: Powerful military music segues into dark, morose orchestral a la Stravinsky).
V/O: Senator McCain called Evangelical Christian leaders "agents of intolerance," then sought their endorsements, until the intolerance he accurately observed came back to haunt him. And all the while, there's that smile -- although those teeth look a bit yellow, don't you think?
CUT TO: Photo/video montage of McCain and wife Cindy, in front of the flag, waving to crowds, then with his angry face as she shouts obscenities at his wife.
V/O: McCain married a wealthy heiress with stunning good looks, but that didn't stop him from calling her a (SOUND F/X: bleep) c**t in front of reporters. Then he had those same reporters over for BBQ as he shopped for a running mate. Not smling so much anymore, are you, Senator?
CUT TO: Pan across an empty padded cell, antiseptic and white, until you reach the door just as it closes, its small window of thick, reinforced glass the only light into the outside world.
V/O: On November 3, make sure that this is the only "White House" that John McCain ever gets to live in. (FADE TO BLACK)