Friday, June 6, 2008

The Rapture Website

In the ultimate display of Christianist opportunism, a subscription-only website exists called "You've Been Left Behind." Its purpose is "to get one last message to the lost, at a time, when they might just be willing to hear it for the first and last time." For just $40 a year (the site promises that re-subscription fees will be lower as the number of subscribers increases), the website will store up to 250MB of documents on its servers, to be "sent by the email," to addresses subscribers provide, six days after the Rapture, or the day when all Christians will be instantly whisked away, right after the Second Coming, to heaven to avoid the destruction of the earth.

Some flaws, obviously. Like, if the site is owned and operated "by Christians, for Christians," they will all be long gone six days after the Rapture. The computer can't know it's Rapture time unless it's told, so someone who's "left behind" has to be around to push a button. Either that, or one of the operators has to be around to push the button once they know Jesus has descended. Or they could set up a Shabbat Goy-type person, who is a non-believer, to make it happen. but how are those zealous believers going to avoid witnessing to that button-pusher to get the hell out of dodge before the end of the world?

And what's to stop the Anti-Christ from pulling the plug on the whole operation before the Second Coming?

However, there is also The Post-Rapture Post, a website created by an atheist computer scientist to assist those who believe the end of the world is at hand. For as little as $4.99 you can have a final hand-written message hand-carried to the recipient of your choice. For such a low price, it will take two to six weeks for delivery. Here's a sample of the additional personalized cards it sells --

My favorite entry on the FAQ is this:

Aren't You Afraid of God's Wrath?

We don't believe in God, remember? In the event that the Rapture actually occurs, we will go to Plan B: "Lifetime of Sin Followed by Deathbed Repentance."

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